Point of no return Repost
by bloemhoffan3000
Summary: AU. Buffy/Faith pairing. Body switching ahead.
1. Prologue: Sometimes I just breathe

**Author's Note:** I've had this idea in my mind in some form or other since I heard this song some three years ago. It's by a South African boyband called Eden.

I don't own the lyrics, the characters or the show. Woe is me.

**POINT OF NO RETURN**

You're the light that shines for me

through darkness and through shade

and everytime I lose my way

you always pull me back again

How hard I've tried to figure out

just what my life should be

then suddenly you come to me and

show me how to give it all I've got

And I can't thank you enough for being who you are

and I can't imagine living life without you

Sometimes I just breathe the air

that you're blowing into me

I feel like I can't give it back

it brings me to my knees

And even when I'm down I turn to you

Now I need to say I love you

I'm at the point of no return.

For days and nights and years to come

I'll never be alone

As long as you're right here beside me

all the world can turn to stone

Though fortune and prosperity

may fade along the way

Always just remember, baby

that nothing can erase this love we've got

And I can't thank you enough for being who you are

and I can't imagine living life without you

Sometimes I just breathe the air

that you're blowing into me

I feel like I can't give it back

it brings me to my knees

And even when I'm down I turn to you

Now I need to say I love you

I'm at the point of no return.

Whenever I feel down and out

the thought of you just lifts me up

my darkest night turns into light

now I'm not alone anymore

Sometimes I just breathe the air

that you're blowing into me

I feel like I can't give it back

it brings me to my knees

And even when I'm down I turn to you

Now I need to say I love you

and I have to say that I need you

I'm at the point of no return.

Prologue: Sometimes I just breathe

The first thing Buffy Summers realized was that never, in all the time she'd had sex with Riley Finn, had she felt this sated, not to mention exhausted and sore. She was one happy Slayer.

And then everything went to **Hell.**

Because the next thing she realized was that Faith was still out there; probably working on a plan to get her revenge. A plan that most likely included hurting Buffy, her friends and her family. Hence the whole sleeping at home thing she was currently doing. Not that that was any guarantee, really. If Fauth wanted her revenge, nothing would stop her.

How could Buffy know this? Simple. She felt the same way about protecting the ones she loved.

Which brings us back to Riley, and his absence this morning after what was, undoubtably, their best night. He'd snuck out of bed in the hour before dawn, shrugging in that endearing way of his.

"I don't wanna upset your mom. She's got enough to worry about."

She had smiled at his thoughtfulness, and secretly took pride in it. Riley really wasn't like the Bab Boys she'd dated before.

"S'okay," she assured him, kissing his lips, "I'll call ya later?"

With a nod, and one last kiss, he disappeared out her bedroom window.

And so it began.


	2. Part 1: My Darkest Night

A/N: Welcome to the next installment, sorry for the delay. Enjoy!

PART ONE: My Darkest Night

Chapter 1:

It was like the typical light at the end of the tunnel. Except if you reached it, you would not find the Afterlife, but stark reality.

The girl looked so small, lying lifeless under a thin sheet, her chest barely rising with her breaths. This was not the same girl who fought vampires with such fire? Who grabbed life (and boys, and whatever else caught her attention) with such enthusiasm? Surely not!

For that girl had never looked so helpless, so innoccent and vulnerable as this.

So, we must be seeing only a shell, and shall we hope for that shell to crack? Shall we bow our heads and pray for the life to return to her? And if our prayers are answered, shall we turn away again, and pretend not to notice the emptiness in her eyes?

Chapter 2:

She dreams.

She struggles to remember. And forget.

A soft sigh escapes her; a sign of acceptance perhaps. Introspection is not her thing; never was. Faith hated her life before being Called. But, being the spare Slayer was definitely not the Destiny she'd signed up for. This was supposed to be her town, her time, right? Only Buffy wasn't dead. And the successor had no throne, unless she took it.

To top it off, Buffy Summers was Ms Perfect: even with a Souled vampire as her ex-boyfriend, she could do no wrong. And how utterly cracked up is that? A Slayer in love with a Vampire? Like a huge cosmic joke. Like one more way for Fate to screw her over. Because having a drunken whore for a mother wasn't enough. Because losing the one person who ever gave a damn wasn't enough. Because finally being strong, not weak and not a victim, and thinking Kakistos is just a vamp and I was born to kick his ass, and having her beliefs ripped out like Diane's throat in front of her eyes was never enough.

Which is why she was currently lying in a cold, bare hospital room.

Alone and forgotten in an endless night, like so many times before, and will this ever change?

Maybe, maybe not. She twitches.

Dawn was coming. She could feel it.

Chapter 3:

Her awakening feels almost unreal. One minute it was dark, and then it wasn't. Just like that she's back, same as always.

The world has changed, however. Faith feels it immediately. The highschool is destroyed, and the Mayor is gone, like so many Big Bads before him. None of that matters when the demon grabs her from behind, and drags into the alley close to her former apartment. The sound of his neck breaking is as satisfying as ever.

The envelope in his bulky jacket has her name on it in block letters. She imagines the Mayor saying her name, with respect and affection, and something twists in her stomache. She decides its because she's hungry, and enters the building through the back.

Her apartment is still in shambles, as though someone wanted to remember it as it was that night, as though to remind Faith how far she's come. How far she's fallen.

Inside the envelope is a video-tape and a metallic-looking gizmo. She studies it while waiting for the tape to start. The device looks devious, in an innocently-gleaming-way, and she feels a shiver of anticipation.

The Mayor adjusts something on his desk, waiting for his cue. Faith smiles at the gesture, so typical of the man she knew. Again that strange twinge in her stomache, and she tells herself she'll get something to eat as soon as this video-message is over. On screen, the Mayor is finally ready.

"Faith, if you're watching this, my planned Ascension was foiled. Pity," the image shakes his head, chuckling softly.

"I don't want anyone to blame themselves for that. I have always believed in my destiny, and if it wasn't to rule Sunnydale and the world as a pure demon, well, I just gotta live with it, hm? Or not, as the case may be," he continued, looking as chipper as ever.

Faith shakes her head at this. Even dead, the guy was still so weird.

"I do have one regret though. Faith, I wish I could have been there for you. I know you're rolling your eyes as this sentimental fool, but I do care about you, and well, I worry. Life is not kind to people like us, who just don't seem to fit in."

Now he looked into the camera a little sadly, Faith thought, as if he can see her. She looks down at herself, at the clothes she stole off the lost visitor when she woke up in the hospital, ill-fitting on her pale frame. She's lost weight, and she becomes aware of feeling grimy, as though weeks or months of dust has collected in her pores, and she starts to itch. He's talking again, and she's studying the odd gadget as he holds it on screen.

"So, I got you a little present. Nothing fancy, but something I think you'll like. Something I know will change your life, like you changed mine."

She listens attentively as he describes its uses, and slowly her smile begins to grow. The Mayor was right after all. He did know her. The plan was perfect. And whatever else happened, Buffy would never forget her. This time, she wouldn't have a choice.

We all want one thing in the end. A place to belong, a home.

A family.


	3. Part 2: Lose My Way

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews! I'm glad people are reading this, and even happier that some actually like it! Here's the next part; enjoy!

PART TWO: Lose my way

Chapter 4:

The device fitted snugly on her hand, like a glove almost, and she felt a thrill everytime she clenched her hand in her pocket. Who would think the fate of her world (really, hers is the only one that matters right now) rested in her jeans?

After locating her stash and pocketing the device and money, Faith had taken a last look at the site of her destruction, and left it behind without hesitation. She bought enough food to feed a small army, or a recently-awoke-from-a-coma-Slayer, and then went on the prowl. After dusting a few vamps to get in the groove, she made her way to Giles' condo. She'd thought briefly of going to Buffy's house first, but then dismissed the idea. She blamed the strange twist in her belly on eating too fast, and that was that.

Good thing too, since the whole gang seemed to be congregated at the Watcher's place anyway. She stared at them through a gap in one of the window curtains, and if she could have seen her reflection, the naked longing on her face would have made her run away.

There was the staid Watcher, carrying a tray of tea (probably), and Buffy looking on, bemused. She shared a look with Willow and Xander, before turning to a guy next to her on the couch, shaking her head at something Faith couldn't hear. She could feel her rage bubbling to the surface, and the rogue Slayer welcomed it. Far more useful to her than the strange melancholy and longing of earlier, she decided.

The rage gained strength as the girl looking on noticed other things: There were two other people she didn't know in attendance. Not vampires, she thought; she has perfected the art of telling the difference now. So who were they? And as she continued her sient scrutiny, another revelation: Buffy was now kissing the guy next to her. What? What the hell?

Faith remembered all too well what had been the final straw that had led her and Buffy to their battle. Angel had needed a Slayer's blood to survive Faith's assassination attempt, and since Buffy had not fed her to the Souled Vampire, did that mean he was dead? And if that was true, why was she suddenly feeling ... shame? She had wanted Angel gone, and Buffy to be devastated, broken and alone like Faith had always been, hadn't she? If her plans had worked, if she had finally gotten something she wanted, why wasn't she happier about it? What had this coma done to her?

The phone rang inside the condo, and Giles left to answer it. Faith didn't wait to see the rest, her confused thoughts and emotions requiring all her attention. Maybe this wasn't real, she reasoned, unconsciously making her way to Revello Drive. Maybe this was like the time VampWillow jumped into their reality, and somehow she was stuck in the middle. Or maybe she wasn't awake at all, and this was yet another way for Fate to screw with her, and her body was still rotting slowly in some dank hospital room.

Maybe Faith was finally really crazy.

The thought made her laugh out loud.

And then she was knocking on the Summers' front door.

Chapter 5:

The phone call seemed to freeze everyone, except Riley.

"Who's Faith?" he asked, taking in Buffy's concerned look, and Giles' furrowed brow.

It was Xander who answered. "Nobody important."

The tension continues until Willow takes Tara's hand, and stands up.

"Maybe we should go," she gestured, nervously biting her bottom lip. Tara nods her head, sensing the apprehension in her red-haired friend.

Buffy nods absently, then seems to snap out of her stupor tostare intensely at the awkward pair.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she says. "Maybe we should stay together?" she asks, looking around at the others.

"We don't know where she is. I mean, she could be waiting to pounce right outside or something."

Giles looks unconvinced.

"We don't wanna risk me bein' right by having people showing up dead, do we?" she asks him.

So it's decided that Riley will walk Willow and Tara back to the other girl's dorm, since Faith doesn't know her, and Buffy will walk Xander and Anya home, then go by the hospital to look for any clues to the rogue's whereabouts.

Giles will lock all windows and doors, and keep his trusty tranq gun close.

No one mentions the house on Revello drive.

Chapter 6:

Faith always wanted a mother like Joyce. The punch she greets the elder Summers with, does not reflect this acurately, but Faith doesn't really care. She carries the limp body upstairs, chuckling at her weakness. Just like Giles, she thinks, and has a mini epiphany. It's age that's important in the battle between good and evil, because that indicates strength. No wonder Slayers die so young.

She sees the pile of letters on Joyce's desk, and sighs softly. At least this isn't a set-up; the blonde Slayer isn't gonna jump out from behind the door to finish what she started that night. Buffy clearly hasn't been home in a while. Faith sneers at the thought that she was probably too busy getting it on with her new boy-toy to pay mommy a visit, which is really so perfect for Faith, isn't it?

When she realizes suddenly that Joyce is awake, she wonders briefly if she spoke aloud.

"Faith?" Her confusion is genuine. A hans comes up to cradle her face. "Did you hit me?" she asks next, incredulous. Faith shrugs in apology, then scowls at her own reflection in the dressingtable mirror. Sorry? She's not sorry. She doesn't care, remember?

"Are you allright?" Joyce interrupts Faith's internal scolding, making her look at the other woman in amusement.

"Oh, I'm just peachy" she says sarcastically. "How are you?" the brunette enquires in the same tone.

Joyce looks like she wants to argue that there's no need for Faith's sarcasm, but really, that is not a wise choice of action, and so she merely shakes her head. Faith laid her on the bed, and now she scoots to sit with her back against the headboard. Her eyes take in Faith's appearance, and then darts across her room as though seeking escape. Faith's sees this, and shakes her head.

"You're stuck with me now, Mrs. S" she says sweetly, turning back to examine herself in the mirror.

"Buffy won't be coming to your rescue tonight. It's gonna be just us girls" she continues, turning back to the bed, and sitting down on the edge. She is facing the older woman, who looks torn between bravado and annoyance, but not too scared. Yet.

"However shall we pass the time?"

Chapter 7:

Buffy doesn't find anything at the hospital, except proof that Faith's 'rest period' hasn't mellowed her out at all. She attacked some poor woman who had gotten lost, and took her clothes. According to the nurse who had found the crying girl, and then confirmed that her patient was indeed gone, Faith shouldn't have been able to get out of bed, let alone harrassing defenseless women. She obviously also believed in gangs on PCP, random animal attacks, and that an entire town could hallucinate at once.

Not knowing what else to do, she thinks of checking Angel's Mansion, or even the burned down highschool, before dismissing both options for Faith's former abode.

The apartment seems to still echo with their fight, and Buffy shivers in remembrance of that night. Faith had goaded her until she had reacted exactly how she wanted her too, lashing out in anger and pain, and yes, she had felt good. Finally a worthy opponent, no holding back, no need to pretend to be human, normal.

But after, when Faith's blood had dried on her hands, and Faith's parting words registered, she had been horrified.

"You did it, B. You killed me. Always knew you had it in ya."

Her body, in the hospital, so pale hooked up to machines to fix what Buffy's not human, never normal hands had so carelessly broken; and nevermind that she had poisoned Angel and threatened her friends and family; nevermind that she had worked for the Mayor to end the world; nevermind that a man was dead because he had a conscience and Faith had too much adrenaline.

The only one who could understand her life. And Buffy had wanted to end hers.

She is surprised by the wetness suddenly coating her cheeks. And it is as she's leaving that she notices another pair of tracks in the dust.

Maybe ... this didn't have to be where it all ended.


	4. Part 3: Give It Back

A/N: Thanks for all the lovely reviews! Here's the next little bit; ties in to the Prologue. Enjoy!

PART THREE: Give it back.

Chapter 8

It was after midnight when Buffy found herself back home, using her key to unlock the back door. She was quiet so as not to disturb her mother, but as she soon realized, Joyce was also awake.

"Mom? Everything okay?"

She took in the older woman's rumpled clothes, and the tired slouch of her shoulders.

"Buffy," her mom answered, "I wasn't expecting you. What are you doing here?"

The Slayer could tell something was wrong, but she couldn't put her finger on it, until her mom took a sip of her coffee. She inhaled sharply as the bruise on her face became visible.

"Mom, what the hell happened?" she asked, cupping her cheek.

Joyce placed her hand over Buffy's, still cupping her face.

"Honey, it's not serious. The swelling has gone down, and I took an aspirin for the pain already, okay?"

The Slayer was not amused.

"Mom, who did this to you? Was it Faith?" she asked apprehensively.

Her mom only nodded.

The guilt she felt was overwhelming, bringing tears to her eyes.

"Oh, Mommy, I'm so sorry. The hospital called to say she woke up, and I looked for her, but I couldn't find her, and I guess I didn't think she might come here..."

Joyce placed her hand over Buffy's mouth, halting the sob-fest, knowing her daughter was feeling guilty.

"No, honey, no," she soothed, "It's not your fault, okay? Faith is a very sick, very scared young woman, who has never taken any responsibility for her actions. Yes, she was here earlier, but she left, and I'm okay, really. So just calm down, sweetheart."

Buffy nodded her understanding, getting up to drink some water. She was shaking inside, so many feelings and thoughts vying for her attention. Anger and guilt mainly, but also sadness and confusion. She cocked her head as something her mom said occurred to her.

"What do you mean scared?" she asked.

Her mother sighed softly, raking her fingers through her hair.

"I looked in her eyes, Buffy. And yes, I'd say Faith was -is- very scared right now. Understandable really," her mom added, almost talking to herself. "She has no one left."

"That's her choice, Mom" Buffy said just as quietly.

The two Summers women silently stared at each other, neither knowing what to say or do. Their feelings and opinions about Faith have always been in contention, and that was unlikely to change.

"Let's just go to bed, huh?" Buffy suggested, allowing her mother to precede her up the stairs. Joyce seemed surprised that Buffy would be staying, but she didn't comment, keeping the thought that it made her feel safer to herself. She had missed her little girl.

Chapter 9

Buffy Summers was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling, with her hands folded across her stomach. She was contemplating her next move after making sure Faith didn't come back to hurt her mom again, of course. She wasn't really having any luck. A part of her believed Faith was beyond help, and yet... She was still a Slayer. The only other person in the world who understood what that meant. Who understood her. Well, who wasn't Angel,anyway.

Besides, her mom had said Faith looked scared, and while she didn't always agree with her mom, the elder Summers sometimes saw more than Buffy did. She had known Angel would end up hurting her daughter, and she'd been right. She'd known Faith wouldn't want to be alone at Christmas, even though the other Slayer never hanged out with the Scoobies, or anyone else.

And, after Buffy's mini breakdown at Faith's old apartment, a part of her wanted -needed- to make sure Faith was allright. She needed to see her with her own eyes; feel her energy; hear her breathing and her heart beating.

She desperately needed to replace this image in her head of Faith as nothing but a ghost.

Her reverie was interrupted by a rustling sound coming from her bedroom window. She stood up to see what was going on, when her curtains parted to reveal her boyfriend, Riley Finn. He smiled at her shyly, climbing over the sill.

"Hey, um...can I come in?"

Buffy smiled back at him in bemusement. "Sure. But what are you doing here?"

She wasn't too worried that something actually was wrong, though. It was nice to see Riley acting this goofy again. She missed their earlier playfulness.

"Uh, I uh, I wanted to talk to you. Um, about us." Riley was avoiding looking at Buffy during his little confession, acting the quintessential **nervous boyfriend**. "Is your mom okay?" he added quickly, glancing at her before looking away again.

"I mean, Faith didn't show up here or-"

Buffy shrugged. "Actually, she was here, but she left. After punching my mom in the face," she added, getting up to hug him.

"Oh," Riley said quietly, not quite knowing how to respond.

The awkward moment lasted only until Buffy finally stepped back from the hug. He took her in, admiring her face; her hot body. This was his beautiful, very capable, very limber girlfriend, who didn't need saving from Big Bad Faith. She was looking at him with a knowing smile on her very inviting lips.

Soon they were on the bed, limbs entangled, and passions well on the way to being overwhelmed. Panting a little, Buffy pushed up from under Riley's hold. "Wait, we can't, Riley..."

The commando silenced her protest with another kiss, rolling them over in the process. "Babe, it's okay," he assured her.

"Your mom's prob'ly sleepin' anyways, right? C'mon, baby, I just wanna feel you. I need you."

His earnest gaze never wavered, and Buffy knew this was a defining moment in their relationship. Staring into Riley's lust-glazed eyes below her, she made her decision.

"But you'll still have to be super quiet, okay? After seeing Mom and Giles doing IT on a patrolcar, I so don't need another scary sex-related visual burned into my skull."

The moment, it seemed, wasn't at its end yet. Riley was solemn as he held her, staring into her hazel eyes. "Buffy, do you trust me?"

Buffy felt the air leave her chest. "What?" she whispered, amazed. While always respectful and almost reverent during their bouts of love-making, the issue of trust never came up between them. What could have prompted the question now?

"Do you trust me?" Riley repeated. "Will you let me make love to you?"

This, in the end, was the ultimate question. The one thing that has never really been defined between the girl and her boyfriend.

If she could, would the Slayer submit?


	5. Part 4: Being Who You Are

A/N: I don't feel comfortable writing sex, so we just have to use our imaginations and the rest of this chapter's "subtle hints" for Riley and Buffy's wild ride. Hopefully their thoughts on the subject and the aftermath will be expressive enough. Enjoy the next installment, and please review!

PART 4: Being who you are

Chapter 10:

Her little talk with Joyce had not gone exactly as Faith had planned. Sure, she managed to get a few digs in about how Buffy seemed to have abandoned her mother, but when she then added herself to that category, Joyce had stopped her.

"She didn't abandon you, Faith. She visited you as much as she could."

Those quiet yet firmly spoken words had rocked the Rogue Slayer, and she had merely stared in disbelief, refusing to accept it as truth.

It was a lie, she knew. Buffy didn't give a damn about her; she'd wanted to kill her, so the blonde was probably celebrating her victory, not mourning her loss like Joyce wanted to believe. Wanted **her** to believe.

Everybody lied. Nobody cared, not about her, not really. The only way she would ever mean anything to anyone, was if she **made **them care. And she would do just that with the Mayor's gift. She just had to bide her time, and wait for the right time.

Then they'd care. they wouldn't have any other option.

This was it. The ultimate test; the ultimate choice. And the Slayer would submit to her. Finally.

Chapter 11:

Her body felt like it was burning and drowning at the same time.

A drowning in passion's fire.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, in the place that controlled her breathing and the continued beat of her heart perhaps, she acknowledged that she had never wanted to drown in fire before this. She was begging for this particular baptism now.

On her hands and knees she was begging. More, it roared in her ears; More it screamed in her mind. "More!" she finally demanded, snarling like a wild thing, like some previously caged animal finally set free.

And if this was freedom...what utter bliss!

YES her body was rejoicing, thrilled in the way that only Slaying thrills it, and then only Slaying with HER.

YES she felt, approaching the peak of her pleasure, letting go of her fears of, and her doubts about her humanity.

YES it resonated within her, again and again.

I AM THE SLAYER! I AM ALIVE! I AM COMPLETE!

And then she was spent.

Chapter 12:

Faith was running; running as fast as she could away from a Buffy that was free, and wild, and HERS. Undeniably HERS.

She had always known her feelings for the other Slayer were more than friendship. Being so in tune with her inner Slayer (her inner demon) she had felt the pull to her all the time. She had needed the blonde in ways that both scared and excited her, but this? This was not part of the plan, and these feelings had no place now, if they ever did.

She silently cursed herself, her stupid brain, and above all her idiot heart for trusting the Mayor. Because she had realized, while waiting for the spell to finish, what she was about to do. What she had already done.

Riley was on his way back to his dorm after dropping off Willow and Tara, when he'd turned around, opting to check on Buffy instead. he hadn't seen Faith, who despite her frustrating conversation with Joyce, couldn't seem to force herself away from Revello Drive. She had hid in the neighbours' yard when she spotted Buffy, and had spent endless moments telling herself that now was the perfect time to attack, but she had remained hidden, unmoving, until now. The soldier arrived like a gift, and Faith accepted him with glee.

Making Buffy believe the deception wasn't nearly as hard as she'd imagined.

But then she had found herself believing it, with decidedly spectacular consequences.

And now she was running; but with every step away from the woman whoheld her heart, Faith could feel herself breaking. When she finally stopped running, she was in front of the blown up highschool, gasping for breath. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and her sobs forced her to her knees in the rubble. This was not part of the plan, goddammit! She wasn't supposed to fall in love with Buffy! Not again, not ever!

He'd promised her! It wasn't his fault, she knew, but it was easier to blame the Mayor, than facing the truth. As soon as she'd seen the blonde, all thoughts of revenge had fled her mind. The plan was forgotten because Buffy's arms was around her; Buffy's lips was kissing hers; her eyes looking and finally seeing the love in hers.

There had only been Buffy, and wanting to know her as intimately as possible. She hadn't wanted the other Slayer to ever forget her; her touch, her kiss, her love. She wanted Buffy to know who she submitted to, forever.

Chapter 13:

Breakfast wasn't half as awkward as Buffy had feared. For one thing, Joyce Summers had no idea that Riley had even been there, or that her precious daughter had done some decidedly carnal things with him under her very roof. She felt a goofy smile forming on her face at the thought of what exactly had happened under her mother's nose.

She hadn't known what to make of Riley's request, but had submitted to it anyway. he had looked at her with such love, that her protests about not wanting to hurt him by accident had died on her lips.

And boy, was she happy she'd obliged in the end.

Her mother interrupted her daydream, and she quickly jerked her head up to face her.

"Will I see you later?" Joyce asked Buffy, a hopeful look on her face. "I mean, when this whole Faith-thing's over? You could invite the gang over for dinner?"

Buffy shook her head NO. "I'll let you know how it goes, Mom, but don't worry 'bout dinner."

Her mother hid her disappointment well, smiling at her. Must be where I get that look from, Buffy thought, feeling slightly guilty.

"Um, maybe some other time? When we're not facing an Apocalypse, or crazy Slayers?"

"Sure," her mom agreed. "It'll be nice to have you all here together, like old times."

Buffy tried really hard to ignore her mother's wistful tone.

"Yeah. So, um, I'll call if anything comes up. Gotta get to class. And if Faith comes back, call me, okay? I'm not letting her hurt you again."

And with a quick "Bye!" she was gone.


	6. Part 5: Show Me How

A/N: Here we are again! This little tale is actually nearing its end. I can hardly believe it myself. Not just yet though, so here's the next bit. As always, enjoy! And reviews are welcome!

**PART 5: Show Me How**

Chapter 14:

She felt different, Buffy decided. _I wonder if I look as different as I feel? _It was like after she'd slept with Angel, before that whole Angelus-drama; but not quite the same She had never been **The Slayer **with Angel; always Buffy. Even when she'd killed him. While it had been with slayer-strength, it was still her-**Buffy**- at heart.

But last night, (or rather, earlier that morning) with Riley, that had been different; intense. Probably the most intense experience of her life. And if he hadn't left when he did, she coulda definitely had more of those experiences. Which begged the question: Where did her lover run off to? Maybe his dorm? She angled her steps to Lowell House as soon as she reached the campus, but was intercepted by Willow.

"Buffy, hey," the redhead greeted her, smiling and waving.

"Will, hey'" Buffy answered back.

Willow hooked their arms, content to tag along with her best friend.

"Where you headed?" she asked.

"Um, to see Riley. He, uh, didn't really get the whole Faith deal."

Riley's question at the meeting had surprised her, which shouldn't really have surprised her, Buffy knew. Sometimes she just forgot how recent his involvement with the Scoobies really was. He kinda felt like he'd always been there. Or perhaps that was just how he acted. Solid. Dependable; the Initiative situation notwithstanding.

"I can't really blame him either, since he had my rather vague explanation to go on. Still, he tried to understand, and offered his support."

Willow smiled knowingly at the blush that accompanied Buffy's words.

"So, did he offer his support last night? Seeing as how our dorm woulda been perfectly private, and Willow-free ... " she trailed off, waiting for her friend to share. Judging by the look on Buffy's face, she thought there was quite alot to share.

"Well," the blonde began, "he came over, to my mom's." She continued quickly at the face Willow made.

"No, no, I was at home, cos like a total spaz, I forgot to warn her about Faith, and she didn't. Faith punched my mom in the face."

Willow gasped. "What? Is your mom okay?"

Buffy waved it off. "Oh, relax, she's fine. Just a little bruise; nothing to worry about." Not adding that she had been crying at the violence done to her mother, and that Joyce had to calm her til she stopped.

"Anyway, I decided to stay over, and Riley climbed in through the window."

Willow looked over at Buffy. "How did he know where you'd be? You never said anything about sleeping at home when we left Giles'."

Buffy suddenly stopped walking, looking at the redhead in shock. "What? What did you say?"

Willow frowned. "I said, how did he know where-"

"He couldn't have," Buffy interrupted. And then things got weird.

"Excuse me, Miss Summers -Buffy- have you seen Riley around?" The girls turned to face Graham Miller, one of Riley's Initiative colleagues.

"Hi Graham. Uh, I was actually goin' to the dorms to see him. Isn't he there?" Her confusion was evident. She had assumed that Riley left to go back to his dorm, and debrief or whatever.

"Negative. Finn returned to base after escorting Miss Rosenberg and Miss Maclay, then offered to do a last sweep. We lost contact with him at Restfield. We figured his comm unit was damaged while fighting a hostile, but no one can confirm seeing him this morning."

"Oh." Buffy looked from Graham to the dorm in the distance, then back again.

"He was at my place around midnight," she reluctantly admitted to the soldier, "but he left before dawn. Maybe he went for a run?" she suggested hopefully. The Slayer could see Willow's raised eyebrow from the corner of her eye.

"Yeah, maybe you're right." Graham didn't sound convinced. "He'll probably show up at a later debriefing. See ya around," he said, taking off in the direction of the dorm.

"That was weird," Willow ventured, "Right? Buff?"

"He didn't look like he'd just come from patrol," Buffy answered softly, her brow furrowing.

"You think something's up?" Willow asked, biting her lip.

"Maybe. Or maybe I'm just being paranoid. Riley's a good guy. He wouldn't do something ... stupid, would he?"

Willow shrugged her shoulders. "He's _your_ boyfriend. Would he do something stupid?"

"Like what? Go looking for trouble? Faith-shaped trouble cos of some misguided sense of trying to protect me? Maybe," she conceded, sharing a worried glance with Willow.

"If he did?"

Buffy sighed. "If he did, it's time to go save the distressed damsel. I'll check out Restfield, and meet up with you guys at Giles' place."

When the hospital had phoned to report Faith's awakening, she had felt such relief. She hadn't killed. She was not like Faith. And then came the guilt, of course. But did that initial feeling of relief, of thank-God-she's okay, mean anything? Buffy had always maintained that Faith was her responsibility, and she still felt that way. Even though she now also felt a sort of guilt mixed in. The relief, while certainly justifiable -they were colleagues after all- was confusing her for some reason. Her mom's assertion that Faith was scared, and their awkward acknowledgement that she was also alone, didn't help either.

"I just hope he's out for jog, you know?"

Willow nodded. "Yeah. If not, we'll find him. Uh, maybe I could bring Tara? To Giles' and she could help; maybe magically track him down?" She smiled uncertainly at the other girl. Buffy smiled back.

"You really like her, huh?" At Willow's enthusiastic nod, she chuckled, then added "Sure, bring her along. I guess it's time Tara started hanging with the Scoobies full-time. And if I can't find Riley and she can, we'll be friends for life."

"Great! I'll see you there. And I'll ask Xander to bring extra donuts," the redhead added with a wink. "Bye, and be safe. Don't try to take her down by yourself, okay?"

Buffy raised an eyebrow at her best friend, then shrugged guiltily at the knowing look she received in return.

"She's probably halfway around the world by now, anyway."

A shared snort of disbelief.

"Fine, I promise. No engaging the hostile that is Faith," Buffy said, putting her hand over her heart.

"Good," Willow nodded. Then the friends departed, each to their own missions.

Chapter 15:

Riley Finn awoke to the sound of screaming. A woman was pointing at him, still in her payamas. He blinked groggily, before getting up.

"Where am I? What's going on?" he asked her, shaking his head to clear it. The last thing he remembered was ...

"Buffy," he said, turning in the direction of her house. He came over after checking her and Willow's dorm at Stevenson Hall, and having realized she had gone to protect her mother, he'd made his way to Revello drive.

"And then," he muttered, raking his hands through his hair.

He'd been attacked? Something -or someone- had hit him over the head, and the next thing he remembered was waking up. The neighbour had by now stopped screaming, since no one had come to see why, and after deciding Riley wasn't coming to kill her, had returned to her breakfast.

The soldier went to knock on the Summers front door. He needed to make a call.


	7. Part 6: Erase This Love

Author's Notes: Wow, this baby is coming to an end pretty soon. Actually watched the episodes this fic is based on recently, and I realized I changed a few things: Adam is never mentioned; Riley isn't hurt; the Initiative commandoes either aren't aware of their 'steriodes', or they are not being chemically enhanced.

**PART 6: Erase This Love**

Chapter 16:

Riley Finn prided himself on his integrity. He was a decent man, a good guy. He fought for what he believed in with honour. He always did, or tried to do, the right thing. When he'd found out exactly what The Initiative was all about, he'd gone to church to pray for guidance, and then did his duty to the very best of his abilities. He thought he had it all figured out. Until he met Buffy.

When he woke up outside in her neighbour's back yard, he had simply mustered his will, knocked on the door of 1630 Revello drive, and asked Mrs Summers if he could use her phone. He refused to question his whereabouts until he checked in, and properly debriefed with Head Quarters. Joyce simply held open the door, and told him to take his time.

Now, he was on his way to the campus. His conversation (short, and entirely in code) had troubled him, to say the least. Not surprisingly, his whereabouts the previous evening were questioned. His inability to answer didn't help. The fact that Buffy Summers was somehow involved, even if he'd only ended up on her street by accident, didn't surprise him either. She was just that kinda girl.

He only very briefly entertained the thought of it all being connected: his unexpected choice of bedroom; her mother's bruised face; the sizable lump on the back of his head. But that couldn't be related, right? Random stuff like that never was, in his experience. Until he'd met Buffy, that is. She was just that kinda girl, unfortunately. Which meant he had to find her. Fast.

Chapter 17:

Faith soon realized that breaking down in front of the burnt out remains of Sunnydale High wasn't helping any. She was still confused, mad, and feeling more than a little crazy. The tears had stopped, and her sobs too, which was a good thing. The silence allowed her to recognize that footsteps were heading her way. She tensed. If it was Buffy or any of the Superfriends, she would run. A small voice asked _what if it was the cops? _She had no answer.

The footsteps stopped behind her. She could tell it was more than one person, but not exactly how many more; not without turning around.

"Faith Lehane?" The voice belonged to a man, with a decidedly British accent. "You should be aware, Ms Lehane" he continued mildly, "that you are surrounded by men with guns. And we have orders which we will not hesitate to execute."

So, the one scenario she hadn't really foreseen: Watcher Council goons.

"Place your hands on your head," the man said, coming closer. Faith tensed again, then sighed softly. Defying the Council was not a good idea when there were armed men willing to kill for a successful mission. She dutifully followed his order.

"There's a good girl." She felt him snap handcuffs on her wrists. "By order of the Watcher's Council, you are hereby withdrawn from active duty. You will be transferred to England, pending rehabilitation."

Faith only turned to acknowledge her captors after they re-holstered their guns. One of them pulled a cellphone from his jacket pocket.

"We have her in custody. Prepare for departure. No, no tranqs required" he added, raising an eyebrow in her direction. "She's coming of her own accord. Right," he signed off, motioning to the waiting SVU. "Let's get this show on the road."

Chapter 18:

Riley finally managed to reach Buffy at the Magic Box. She smiled uncertainly at him when he entered, then led him to the training room.

"What's up?"

"I'm not sure," he answered. "I woke up in your neighbour's yard this morning, with a heck of a headache. Did something happen?"

Buffy stared, open-mouthed in shock. "Wait, what are you saying? Riley, you don't remember?"

He shrugged. "I came over to make sure you were okay. I checked your dorm, and when you weren't there, I went to your house. I figured you were keeping an eye on your mom. Then, I woke up in the neighbours' yard."

"So, that's all you remember?" she asked again.

Riley frowned at her tone. "Yeah ... why? Something happened, didn't it?"

Buffy's turn to frown. "Yeah, Riley, something happened. We made love when you came over, and then you left. Obviously, my brand of sex is potent." The joke didn't amuse either of them.

"I don't know what to say, Buffy. I don't remember that; any of that. I'm sorry."

Giles chose that moment to enter the training room. "Oh, Buffy, there you are," he said, startling the lovers. "Do you have a minute? I have some rather disturbing news."

Buffy huffed in annoyance. "Giles, we're kinda in the middle of something here."

"Yes, well, that will have to wait; and I'd prefer you," gesturing between the Slayer and her boyfriend, "not do _anything _in here, ever. Except train to fight. Vampires and demons and the like." The Watcher removed his glasses, then put them back on. "It's about Faith."

He now had their full attention.

"It would appear that the Council has taken Faith into custody. They will be taking her to England, for rehabilitation. I just got a phone call from Quentin Travers. His team has confirmed that Faith is with them."

Buffy was again open-mouthed in shock. "Are you sure?"

"Quite sure. They found her at the old highschool. I think this is for the best, Buffy" he continued. "Perhaps the Council can help her, since it is apparent that we cannot."

Buffy sighed, shaking her head in disagreement. "Let's not kid ourselves. She just didn't want our help, Giles."

So, it was over. Faith wasn't her problem anymore. She could concentrate on her life now; on Riley and his weird sex-amnesia. She was free of her feelings about the other Slayer; no need now to remember her strange relief when Faith woke up; the anger and confusion betrayal she associated with her dark counterpart could be put away.

Yet, she couldn't quite believe it was that easy. This is Faith, after all. And her mom had said she was scared. And hurt, probably. All alone, definitely. Buffy felt her unease grow the more she thought about it. This wasn't over, not really. She had a sneaking suspicion that it was, in fact, just the beginning. And that was bad, really bad. Almost as bad as your boyfriend forgetting the best sex of your life.


	8. Epilogue: Point of no return

**EPILOGUE: Point of no return**

_It's been a few weeks since the whole Faith-thing. According to Giles, she's actually handling her rehab quite admirably (his words). I don't really know how I feel, yet. It's all still so confusing. Oh, and Riley and I broke up. And, yeah, I guess I'm kinda pregnant. We figured out that it's not his baby. I'm keeping it. Her. I think it's a her, a girl._

Buffy sighed, flipping her journal closed. Writing it down just made it all too real, and she wanted it to be not-real a wwhile longer. She can hear her mom in the kitchen, waiting for her to get ready for her doctor's appointment, which she really wasn't looking forward to. She sighed again, rolling onto her back. Her hands rest automatically on her stomach.

There was no visible difference yet, it was still too soon to tell, but she thought she could feel a change. Subtle, but there. The Slayer idly wondered if she would be able to hear the baby's heartbeat, and then if she'd be freaked out by that.

"A baby. I'm having a baby. I, Buffy Summers, am having Faith's baby."

She had freaked out when Tara rendered her verdict. The witches had rushed over to Giles' condo after Buffy found Riley, and had explained to the Watcher what they'd found. It didn't make any sense to Buffy; until Tara said those words, she hadn't even known they were talking about her!

"Wait, what? I'm what?" she'd practically shouted.

Tara and Willow had been meditating, trying to synchronize their energies to do some spell (?), and they had locked onto some pretty impressive magickal signature (again, ?), and apparently Faith had manage to knock Buffy up.

Naturally, the blonde Slayer denied it. "I am not pregnant. For one thing, I never had sex with Faith. For another thing, she's a girl! Unless there's something else..."

She was interrupted by an excited Willow. "She magically impregnated you, Buffy!"

Of course, since that happened all the time.

Willow continued off her look. "She probably used something, a talisman, to change herself into..."

And lightbulbs flashed in her head. "It wasn't Riley. She waited for him, whacked him over the head, stole his body, and raped me." You could hear pins drop.

"I'm gonna faint now." And Buffy did.

She decided not to tell Faith, and broke up with Riley the next day. Willow and Tara went with her to the drugstore to buy a pregnancy test, which was negative, because it was too soon to tell. They waited seven days before going again. This time it wasn't negative.

When she told her mom, Joyce cried. And held her when she cried too. And then told her to stop patrolling until after the baby was born, which she refused to do because she wasn't an invalid, and you couldn't even tell she was ... By which point she started crying again. It was a very emotional time.

Now, she was getting ready to go to the doctor's, to get checked out, and start her pre-natal course.

Buffy looks at the journal one last time, before leaving her room. It had come in the mail two days ago, with no return address. She suspects it's from Faith, but prefers not to know.

On the first page, there is written simply REMEMBER.

A/N: Wow, that's it! Maybe there will be a sequel, I don't really know. Thank you to all who have taken this ride with me.


End file.
